How do you MAKE IT as an author?

How do authors get paid?

I know that I chose this road… the path of a partly self employed authorprenuer. And while there are many parts of this lifestyle I love (time to work on my writing and flexibility for my family top the list), I’m starting to feel a bit tired. I find that after almost nine years, I’m still searching for the keys to success.

When most of your time is your own and there is a large menu of options from which to choose, sometimes the mental gymnastics of figuring out the correct puzzle piece of a task to place in the empty hole of your schedule can be exhausting. Especially when some of the puzzle pieces make money today (substitute teaching), some might make money one day (writing projects) and some that are self care and make you no money at all but still feel valid (exercising).

How do you choose? What do you prioritize?

In 2019 I busted my butt. I taught, wrote, presented, traveled, published and half a dozen other odds jobs. I am very proud to report that when all was said and done I made the same amount of take home pay that I did when I was a full time teacher. (Side note: my husband carries our family’s health insurance and this fact makes the prior one possible.) When I think about this achievement, I am both proud and a little jealous. It’s easy to fall into the comparison game and when I see other couples our age making double the money my husband and I make (as we work 50-80 hour weeks between our day jobs and passion projects) it doesn’t seem fair. It makes me wonder, what should we be doing differently?

I will never go back to K-12 full time teaching, but I’ve started to wonder if another full time job might be the simpler option. I’ve always been very good at managing a full schedule. I’m certain I would still make time to write. Maybe not the three books I currently plan to write this year, but I would write.

I have always known that I love structure, but right now, whey my life lacks many major time parameters, I have never known this to be more true. So I’m asking myself, would it be better to go back to a full time job that would provide structure and a bigger paycheck for potentially less effort? Or should I hang on, and keep hoping that my dream career will take off (in a way that will allow me to give up all the other side gigs) soon?

I’m not writing this for your pity, nor to dissuade you from making this leap for yourself. I’m simply offering you some insights I have now, that I’m here, in this place. Some thoughts that I did not have (or even knew to think) before I made my own leap.

In his book For Everyone, Jason Reynolds says, “Success could be as far away as forever, or as close as lunch time.”

And I feel that. I could be so close.

What if I abandon ship now, just a few months before it arrives at my desired destination? What if I stay on board for years, toiling away, never to actually arrive? What if my family makes financial sacrifices because of the option I choose? These are the things I think about lately. These are the exhausting circles in which my mind runs.

Please know that I realize this is a “good problem”. Five-years-ago-me would have killed to be me-right-now. I don’t believe that my struggles and worries outweigh anyone else’s, but my life is mine to work out, and I believe that it is worthwhile to make the most of it that I can. Thus, sometimes I write long and rambling monologues in which I try to figure it all out. I’ll let you know if I come up with any solutions.

I’m open to all ideas and advice, so if you have any, feel free to send them my way.

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